Welcome back empowered readers,
For this months empowered journal I wanted to discuss three ways that self-compassion leads to greater self-love. Compassion is the ability to show sympathy and/or concern for the suffering or misfortunes of others. Throughout my own life’s journey, I can reflect on expressing compassion when I worked as a humanitarian in Nicaragua and provided support to impoverished children and sick and abandoned animals. But what about compassion for oneself? What does that look like? Here are three ways to show self-compassion: 1.Self-Kindness NOT Self-Judgment Self-compassion means understanding that life is about making mistakes, failing and sometimes falling short of your own expectations. When you fail, make a mistake or feel inadequate you can practice self-compassion by being warm and understanding toward yourself instead of ignoring your pain or criticizing yourself. It’s ironic to think that it is so much easier to show compassion to others, but ultimately can be a struggle to show compassion to oneself. However, when you practice self-compassion, you can accept your reality with kindness. This can lead to experiencing greater emotional calmness. 2.Shared Human Experience NOT Isolation “Life” can be the greatest test of all, especially when plans abruptly change due to unexpected developments. Sometimes when this happens, you can be left feeling like you are the only one suffering or making mistakes and feelings of isolation can develop. When practicing self-compassion during these times, recognize that suffering and personal inadequacy are part of the collective human experience. Every single person undergoes pain and suffering at different times in their lives, but being self-compassionate means that you understand that this isn’t something that happens to you alone. That you are not alone. That it is part of the human experience. 3.Reflection NOT Over-Identification Feelings come and go. And it is important to show willingness about observing your thoughts, emotions and feelings with openness. In order to be self-compassionate, one must develop a balanced approach to gaining perspective about ones situation. When you become “over-identified” with your thoughts and feelings, it is important to not get caught up and swept away by negative reactivity. Instead, identify your feelings, recognize them for what they are and treat them as visitors. Research has been shown that you can increase the habit of self-compassion through practice. You read that right, you can learn to be self compassionate. Don’t be afraid to seek help from a counsellor, psychologist or outpatient provider. To your empowered wellness, Exchiela
3 Comments
10/19/2019 16:41:50
I am at the point in my life when self love is still a mystery to me. I always think negatively about the world. I do not know why, but I just do not trust my instincts. I always think that I only make bad decisions. Well, there is some truth to that, but I always know that I am capable of doing great ones. I do hope that there comes a time when I become able to make good decisions in my life.
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10/23/2019 12:04:18
The key to self-compassion is recognizing that the part of the human experience requires making "good" decisions and "bad" decisions. Because it is inevitable to make mistakes in ones life, the core of being self-compassionate is recognizing that these experiences help make us who we are. Ultimately, if one learns and self-reflects from our experiences (whether "good" or "bad) we are doing our part in growing as a human being and contributing to humanity. All experiences help shape who we are as we continue to evolve, understanding that you did the best that you could at that time is contributing to your self-love. I hope this message helps on your journey, thanks for reaching out.
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Self-compassion and self-love are related to each other. However, both are two distinct concepts. Developing self-compassion is all about being kind and understanding. On the other hand, self-love is a state of admiration for yourself. Developing self-love is about valuing yourself as a human being. An honest appreciation for the self is known as self-love. As self-love is the tallest middle finger of all time, hence, you need to be kind while developing a love for yourself. Allow your compassion to include yourself. Else, it would be incomplete.
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